Raising Accidental Atheists
I grew up singing Jesus Loves Me, I knew that my two hands made a steeple atop a chapel full of parishioners. I knew we were going to heaven; a beautiful green place that smelt of wildflowers and jelly beans. I knew my beagle, Floyd, would run with other dogs and lions and even a few lambs.
God was this ancient guru figure with long grey hair and a beard that always blew in the wind, he wore a toga. And i did what he said to do. Or didn't do what he said not to.
Angels were benign beings that only love. My guardian angel wrapped his wings around my body at night to protect me from bad dreams. And the boogie man that lived in the hollow tree across the street.
We go to church sometimes. Honestly, it's so difficult to shop for a new church once you've been so let down by the people that are supposed to teach you higher thinking.
But how is it that my kids are afraid of angels, like ghosts?
When I sat Fairy Princess down to really explain God, Jesus and Angels all she got out of it is that God is HUGE, and his angels are basically fairies flying around doing good deeds. At least she isn't afraid of her room any longer. But I think it's time we buckle down and find a place where people are much better teachers.
After all, I want my kids to know the pleasure of dreaming of heaven, seeing "God Clouds" and knowing when I'm not there with them, they aren't alone.
Comments
I grew up in a violent religious extremism, and in an environment of abuse and domestic violence. This behavior was justified religiously by my parents and seconded by the church. I eventually became an atheist and an antitheist.
I know a lot of other people who did the same, and every one that I've met has described their own negative experiences with religion - whether it's extreme like mine, or simply running into nasty, judgmental people at church. Religion left a bad taste in our mouths.
I was eventually able to get over it, and to assess the existence and nature of God independent of my past experience. A lot of people don't do that though. Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins are not angry at religion on principle. Anger comes from experience.
The greatest lessons that your children learn about God will come from you. But they won't come from your explanations. They will come from your actions. If God is a good thing in your life - if your spirituality is a positive force - they will see that, and be impacted by it more so than any theology lesson.
Surprise, surprise, they found love in high school and my mom was pregnant at 18. They were then shunned by the church, family and even friends.
You were right when you learn what you are shown. My parents never blamed God, but they still hold a grudge against their church. They taught my sister and I through example and not so much through Bible stories. When I think about it, that was my grandparents.
I would still love for my kids to know the stories, learn the basis of why we believe what we do. So I've pulled out my old Bible story book. Honestly, they still want to hear how the hungry caterpillar turns into that beautiful butterfly. It's a start and Fairy Princess is looking forward to spending time with her friend at Sunday school, where they seems to be more play than school. That's fine with me, make church fun and loving. Maybe my kids can have what my parents never got.